long time no hear...

i've not blogged in a while... one year and a bit in fact. i think at some point of time i figured that i can't say a lot of things that i would like to say. i got to a point where i questioned the whole privacy thing and kind of retreated into seclusion of some sort. lay low for a bit kind of thing.

so what have i been up to? not much and yet a lot. as i said, there are some things which can't be mentioned. anyway, i've been busy. busy at work, with life. spore is pretty fast paced. i got caught up in a whirlwind of activity in the past few months, and sadly the eye of it all was work. i realised that i've not been in touch with the people who mean a lot to me, to closed ones, family and friends. sorry guys, i know i've been away. i was looking through ian's blog and az's blog and so many things have transpired and i just haven't caught up. the whole "busy" thing sounds like a really lame excuse now.

i gotta say that in one year, things have happened. i think i've matured a lot (yes, but i think the same level of corniness still stays). i got hurt, i healed, i laughed, i cried. and then some time earlier this year, ian gave me the opportunity to write the lyrics for the YKLS 5th anniversary song. it's quite an honour. i procrastinated on that. well i won't say procrastinate, but i decided that i should let inspiration come when it did and not force its hand. and so i decided to draw on all my experiences in the past few months. at that time, writing those words, it never really dawned on me how different it would mean reading them now. seriously, reflecting on the year that has gone by, i have so much to be thankful for. going through all those trials, tribulations and triumphs, it is odd in a way how those words actually came true later on in life, like i was writing a prophecy of some sort. but then again, maybe there really isn't anything "prophetic" about it at all. maybe at every event in our lives, we experience little things that make us thankful and grateful, and we DO have many things to be thankful and grateful for. i know that i never really had to cry for more than i really should, because people who cared were always there. their smiles and support were always there. and if things didn't work out, they were still there to tell me it's ok to have hope again, it's ok to dream, and even then you know you can count on them to give you a realistic perspective of things. maybe these are things which happen commonly, but the whole experience of it never really hits us until we reflect on it.

in any case, those words are dedicated to people who have really lifted me and laughed with me, lived with me and loved me. thank you for walking with me.

until the next post (hopefully not in a year's time...).

It's been a while...

Yup, as Az says, lama tak dengar cerita. So first and foremost, selamat hari raya and happy belated deepavali all!

It a public holiday here today and I am at work. I don know why. Actually I do, I have to get some work out before my new engagement starts tomorrow and I procrastinating or so totally not in a mood to get anything done. My arms are aching for some reason. The right side is probably left over from a fall I had in the shower (which made me think that if I had fallen on my head no one woulde been around to rescue me. So sad), and the left side is probably cos I slept on it last night.

I think it been almost a good 4 months or so since my last post. I got totally disillusioned and too many things were happening at one go. To sum up in a random fashion, my two managers left and a third one just left yesterday for greener pastures (or so we believe), work been piling. A lotta things on the personal front as well. Dad got sick. Hope he gets better soon. And I am single.

I don know if that a good thing but (thankfully) I have had work to keep my mind off a lot of things. We are still good friends. Maybe another time, or maybe never. Who knows. Whatever it is, it allowed me to take a step back and assess what I want in life. Spore isn such a bad place after all?the husband-and-wife just may be making their way over then I will have kaki!!! Yay! I guess the only thing that missing here is the company I have back home. Met up the gang at Yat Kei on Campbell St last weekend and 9 of us (bless our souls!) tucked into otherwise normal hawker fare but definitely has A-ratings in my book. Heeeee? then amidst all our craziness I realized that I actually miss this crazy bunch. Wish I could import them over to spore. Haha! Ryonn thinks I systematically doing just that. I swear I haven.

Ie missed a whole lot of things back home:

?SPAN style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'">        Missed the choir

?SPAN style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'">        Missed singing

?SPAN style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'">        Missed my family and dog

?SPAN style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'">        Missed my friends (even my soya man)

?SPAN style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'">        Missed good hawker food

?SPAN style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'">        Missed my mom cooking

?SPAN style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'">        Missed going for friends?gigs (there none to be had here!!!  )

?SPAN style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'">        Missed etc?/P>

Then again it nice to know that kl is just a bus / plane ride away. Which I suppose, prompted joel to say that it feels like Ie not really left. Guess I haven. Which also probably sums up why I have close to a zero social life in spore. Ha!

Post-exam blues and things that go bump...

It been a pretty tumultuous week. I don know why but this sudden thought just came into my head: I wish I was a faun like mr. tumnus. Don ask me where that came from. Am chilling out now after a crazy, crazy day of exams. it been a while since I did exams and suddenly I don feel all that lever?anymore. I think it has to do with age?or maybe in my case it was lack of preparation for the exams. well whatever it is, I didn hit an ace. It was tough?at least for me. When did I last take exams tt I had to actually study for? Hmmm?. too long ago? Let me search in the cobwebbed-recesses of my memory?I would think tt would be in uni, bout 5 years ago. It doesn seem like a long time but when your brain is in hibernation for that long well! It really is like rip van winkle. Heheheh. I don think it was tough. I just didn prepare as well as I should have, and I could come up with a million excuses, or reasons as I would like to call it, but it wouldn justify anything would it. not at least to the powers-that-be on the examination board. Sigh?.. cest la vie. Let see how, see how. Whatever will be, will be.

On another note, the lead-up to the exams has been tough. Had to deal with some personal issues amongst other things. Everything seemed to happen all at one go suddenly, but Ie learnt that God doesn give you anything more than you can handle, and if He does, He makes sure you have the strength to deal with it. it was pretty rough. Sometimes i wish I could change things, now that I have the wisdom of hindsight. You know how people say, oh if I had the chance to turn back time, I would not change a thing, no regrets. Bollocks. Everyone always has one thing that they wish they could change at some point in time. Relationships, friendships, what we ate, what we did, what we said?of course we have. But I guess we just take the lesson and move on in life. Well. I botched up a friendship. And am trying to patch it up now. tt all I will say. But you know, it just pretty tough when youe hit a bump with friends. Sometimes you just wish oh?if only I had dealt with that better, did what I was supposed to do? As I sayegrets. I don regret the friendship?I just regret the bump we went through and the consequences. And now that I know now what I didn know back then, I would really change it if I could have. But we live, and let live. We learn to pick ourselves up, and we hope that we become all the wiser after that.

Aside from these bumps and other little bumps, things have been otherwise good. I have a lot of things that I feel blessed for, some things which I fail to see sometimes. Little gestures, but they mean so much (sounds like a nokia ad eh?). to the husband and wife, thanks for the prayers (sorry I shocked you, but you guys are real entertaining J), and to me friends?thanks for the well-wishes. And of course to the babe, thanks for popping by today for the moral support. I may fail to see your little gestures, but I learning everyday.

ngels pass us by each day,

They stay and then they fly away?

Exam Bloos...

Long time no take exams, almost forgotten what it's like. the stress, the last-minute cramming. urgg...... a lots been happening, seems like a conspiracy theory that everything happens at one go. have been praying hard to see through this. hoo boy... approx 12 hours to go before my paper starts... breeeeeeaaaaatttthhhheeeee..............

Balik kampung

i'm going home!!! going home for the weekend, going home to see my baby, going home to see my family... doo dee doo dee dum...

well it's been a while since i've been back. since chap goh mei really and tt was some time in mid-feb. it's almost end may now which means this is the longest period of time that i've not been back since i moved down south to the land of lions. well much has happened since then, and i'm just wondering how everything is like back home. i think you kinda take things for granted when you are away. you think about things more when you live alone, think about the food which seemed so easy to come by, the chow kway teow and BKT... the ubiquitous mamak stalls and even the humble prata (or roti kosong as we call it). things just aren't the same here! not tt spore lacks its own flavour or character. things are just... different you know? maybe it's cos we were born in our home countries and there is a certain thing tt gets ingrained in you that you need to defend. in my case it is food. but tt's just territorial.

i've missed being with family and friends. and i'm gonna be seeing a whole bunch of them at a wedding this sat and i'm looking fwd to it. i miss my mom coming up to my room at odd hours to chat with me. the last time she did that when i was back home i slept at 3 a.m.! how often do you get to do that with your mums right. i'm truly blessed. even my dad has warmed up a bit since the kids left the nest. i guess absence truly makes the heart fonder in some ways. oh well. and while i'm back... i will try to remind myself now and then that i have an exam looming in 2 weeks. whata wake-up call...